Dealing with emotions: How Emotion-Focused Therapy Transforms Daily Life

Emotions are often treated like weather—unpredictable forces we must simply endure. However, Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), an evidence-based approach developed by Dr. Leslie Greenberg, suggests that our feelings are not just random "reactions" but vital messengers that signal our deepest needs and guide our survival.

What is Emotion-Focused Therapy?

At its core, EFT is built on the principle that "you have to feel a feeling to change it". Instead of just trying to "think" your way out of distress, an EFT-trained therapist helps you arrive at the heart of your emotional experience to transform it from the inside out.

The process generally follows three key stages:

• Awareness and De-escalation: Identifying the "negative cycles" of how we react when we feel threatened or hurt.

• Restructuring: Moving past surface-level "secondary" emotions (like anger) to uncover "primary" feelings (like the fear of being unloved).

• Consolidation: Integrating these new emotional insights into daily life to build resilience.

The Benefits for Everyday Life

Working with your emotions in a psychologically healthy way offers profound benefits beyond the therapy room:

1. Clearer Decision-Making: When you understand why you feel a certain way, you can act with intention rather than reacting on impulse.

2. Stronger Relationships: By expressing your true needs clearly—rather than lashing out or withdrawing—you create "secure attachments" and deeper intimacy with partners and family.

3. Internal Compass: Emotions like anger can signal a broken boundary, while sadness may signal a need for support. EFT helps you use these as a compass to navigate life’s challenges.

4. Emotional Flexibility: Instead of being stuck in "maladaptive" patterns—like chronic shame or fear—you learn to transform these into empowering states like self-compassion and confidence.

Ultimately, the goal is emotional superpowers: the ability to stay present with your feelings without being overwhelmed by them, leading to a more authentic and connected life.

To find out more and to work with a therapist to help manage your emotions please visit:  havencounselling.com.au